Day 2

Day two of being ‘unemployed’. I do have a job lined up but because my city experienced a blizzard over the weekend, I can’t back out of my driveway so I’m stuck at home. I’ve gotten some freelance work done over the weekend, and sleeping in on Monday was the strangest feeling to me after several weeks of working 50+ hours (plus another 10 of just driving). After getting a little bit of work done on Monday afternoon I got hit with a really bad wave of depression, and decided to go back to bed to snooze it off. Not the smoothest start to my pro-freelance working life, but I’m not going to beat myself up about it, especially considering that my last day of my full time job was in the middle of a holiday weekend. I’ll just have to do better, and pick myself up and get to work.

I got to ghostwrite a chapter which was really fun, and I’m waiting to see if the client wants to move forward with the rest of the novella. Speaking of, I really ought to get back to my novels. Even if it’s a ‘how-to’ book like ‘how to run a Kickstarter’ or ‘how to start a novel’s worth of unpublished novel ideas’. I know I’m capable of writing enough, I just need to dedicate more time to sitting down and writing a story through to the end. I at least have a couple of finished (albeit very very rough) drafts, so I’m not jumping in blind anymore. I really enjoy all the writing work I’ve been doing, including some video game articles and that ghostwriting I mentioned. Plus, I’m building up my repertoire, so getting jobs is going to be a little easier now that I have actual proof I can write in a professional capacity. Exciting, isn’t it?

I’ll be taking a week off next week to drive down to Pensacola and spend a few days on the beach. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to practice some travel writing and photography, and generally try to get my brain some rest so I can try to be a functioning human being again.

Wish me luck.

Resigned

I did it. I finally did it.

I quit my first full-time job.

Now before you get too excited, I have to say that I made an informed, responsible decision, based on important reasons. Mostly that I hate my job, but who’s keeping track? With the amount of driving and overtime hours that are piling up, I’m finding that I have very little time to dedicate to any drawing, writing, painting, graduate school applications, etc.

My plan is to work a part time job while I freelance and work on personal projects again. Already I’ve begun to pull in new clients for writing reviews and articles and I’ve also been scouring the interwebs for ways to use my agonizingly long list of menial office skills (data entry looks to be a promising gig).

I think I’ll document my experience in this crazy time of my life. Already I’ve earned $4 through filling out surveys and playing digital (free) scratch-off tickets.

Branding

I’ve had a silly reason for not posting again since starting up this blog. Really, just quite ridiculous.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been struggling with what I would write about for my next post. I bounced ideas around my head over nearly every topic and genre that I’d be comfortable enough to write about, and maybe a little uncomfortable, but at least knowledgeable. What kept tripping me up though was how I wanted to portray myself- would I be the nerdy blogger who wrote reviews for video games or films, or would I be more of an activist and speak about issues like mental health and LGBTQ+ folk? Perhaps what has been a road block to me, is this new brand I’m sort of forming for myself. I’m just starting out, only scraping the surface of what I want my future writing career to be; but finally I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m worrying about the wrong things. I mean, in just my last post, I mentioned how writing should be fun. And yet here I am, pen twirling in my fingers, my laptop screen blaring stark white, while I’m fretting over what kind of writer I want to be.

But maybe I should actually write something. What a novel idea.

Moving forward, I think just challenging myself to keep to a schedule will be enough of a push to at least write -something- every day. Then someday soon, I’ll have published work and eventually some novels, full of fantastic wonders and excitement that I will show the world, and my brand identity will come on its own.

All I have to do is write.

First Entry

Such a thrilling title for a blog post, I know.

At face value, it speaks of a lack of imagination and… frankly, a loss for words. Where does one begin? What are you supposed to blog about on your very first day? Do you recount the story of your breakfast of trademarked crunchy cinnamon cereal, or begin an epic of the joys of writing and the struggle of deadlines that you haven’t had yet? Do you begin to artificially brand yourself in the hopes of getting freelance jobs? Money is important for sure, but in my naivety, I don’t want it to be the sole reason that I write this blog.

I am reminded of Ray Bradbury’s essay on the Joy of Writing, where he writes, “If you are writing without zest, without gusto, without love, without fun, you are only half a writer”. He goes on to say that a writer should be “excited”, where you pour your passion, your loves and hatreds on the page1. Remind yourself of the magic that you felt as a child, where riding the city bus was an adventure, and finding a lightning bug in the summer night was the discovery of a lifetime.

Excited. That’s what I felt when I began writing as a teenage fan-fiction writer, when I was taking my favorite video games and television shows, immortalizing my stories in the nerdiest reaches of the internet. When someone would read my work, whether a close friend or a stranger on the world wide web, I was ecstatic. Any comment I received, any praise, any criticism, I was happy enough that another human being decided to dedicate their time to read my work. And I still feel that today, if I’m honest with myself. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking pride in your work; sometimes you’re the only one who can pat yourself on the back, other times you could have throngs of people waiting to praise you for your latest and greatest work. So long as you never feel compelled to say, “I’ve finished, I have reached the top, and I am done creating”.

Never lose that sense of wonder- excitement is what I want to keep feeling as I continue work on my first novel, as I write original short stories in hopes of publication, and ultimately as I grow as a writer. I hope to always be able to remind myself the real reason I write: to share stories, and bring out feelings of excitement, suspense and fantasy, happiness and hope in either myself or others; preferably all of the above. Emotions that remind us we are human, and that the whole world is out there for us, chock-full of things to love and hate.

To wrap up this first blog post, I want to thank you for joining me on this crazy journey we call life, and whether you’re a writer or not, I hope you go out and find wonder in the smallest of places. Take a drive in the marvelous feat of engineering we call a car. Smell the flowers, and think of the love that their gardener put into seemingly insignificant plant life. Watch a flock of tiny birds forage for materials for nests, working together for the wellbeing of their kind.

Look at the world with new eyes, there’s magic out there just waiting for you to discover it.


1. Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing (Santa Barbara: Joshua Odell Editions, 1994), 3-9.